So, since it’s been revealed that I’m a (hardcore) Twilight fan, I must dedicate this post to the fact that I, along with two of my best friends Jen and Gabby, are preparing for battle. In a week and two days, we will be seeing New Moon for the first time. Breaking in to Summit down the street would have just taken too much planning and therefore, we are doing the next best thing. We are going to an advance screening at the Arclight next Thursday night.
I say battle because that’s honestly what it is. When you’re 26 years old and a fan of Twilight, you find yourself ridiculously outnumbered by 16 year olds that can barely drive their mom’s minivan to Hot Topic to buy a ‘Team Edward’ shirt. So in preparation to deal with the onslaught of screaming fans at the movies and the fact that I will probably knock someone down in line for the bathroom because that trash talked RPatz, here are the exercises we are putting ourselves through to be in top Twilight fan form coming next Thursday night.
1. Re-read Twilight AND New Moon
So Gabby has Jen and I beat on this one, as she has re-read both books and is almost done re-reading Eclipse. I have made it through Twilight and if I hunker down this weekend, I may be able to get through New Moon by next Thursday. Sorry, I actually do have a life outside of Twilight. Jen hasn’t re-read either. Fail, Jen.
Re-read Battle Grades – Gabby: A; Alexis: B-; Jen: F
2. Re-watch Twilight
Art just bought a new Plasma and blu-ray player so there will definitely be a viewing this weekend of Twilight where we will make sarcastic commentary and make fun of KStew when the HD reveals her pores.
Re-Watch Grades- All: A (cause we’re totally doing this)
3. Buy New Moon paraphernalia
Sure, we didn’t venture down to Hollywood and Highland on Friday night for the cast tour, but that doesn’t mean we are ashamed to own anything. Gabby is showing her Tay Tay love by getting a I HEART WEREWOLVES shirt. Jen and I at one point did purchase a Pocket Edward for our cubicle, but he was stolen by an intern who probably took him because I was the mean assistant who always told them to keep the chatter down. We still hold out hope he will resurface one day.
New Moon paraphernalia – Gabby: B+; Alexis & Jen: B
4. Watching endless press junket interviews and reading new articles
Gabby once again takes the cake on this, as I came home last week to discover that she has Tivo’d Access Hollywood to watch the interviews and cringe with second hand embarrassment while the host asked horrible questions. I watched some over the weekend and also salivated over the new Rob photos from Vanity Fair and Harper’s Bazaar. I like to pretend that KStew wasn’t in the Harper’s Bazaar photo shoot. Jen was also good as well, watching some of the interviews too and bugging me over and over again to send her the Harper’s Bazaar article to she could read it. Snoozefest.
Press Junket Interviews & Magazine Grade – Gabby: A-; Alexis: B; Jen: B-
5. Freaking out in the car every time we see a New Moon billboard or see a New Moon commercial
Jen definitely failed in this category. She doesn’t get excited by seeing a billboard trailer, nor does she watch the commercials when they are on TV. She says she watched them the first time she saw one, but not anymore. I personally get excited when I see a billboard, even if it’s just a little. Same with the TV ads. I may be fast forwarding through the commercials during Glee and I will stop, rewind and watch if a New Moon commercial goes by. I also thoroughly appreciate the WhatEdwardDrives Volvo commercials, if only for the fact that they are hand down hilarious. I can only imagine there are a million 16 year old girls now asking for a Volvo as their first car simply because it’s what Edward Cullen drives. Gabby also has a fan girl moment when we see a billboard or commercial as well.
Billboard & Commercial freakout Grade – Gabby: B; Alexis: B+; Jen: D
Overall Battle Grades
Gabby – A: Gabby will definitely survive the onslaught of 16 years olds and will beat them in a foot race if Taylor Lautner is spotter outside the Cineramadome come November 20th. She’s feisty and fearless and the most prepared out of all of us.
Alexis – B+: My dedication to any and all things Twilight makes me confident that I could out elbow any 16 year old if Rob is spotted, but if it’s KStew that’s on the street, she can fend for herself while I sit back and watch her stutter/blink rapidly/shake head like she’s having a seizure.
Jen – C: Jen’s cool and calm collected nature probably means that she’d get trampled by the hordes of teenage girls, but her nonchalantness makes her the most awesome and she would probably be standing far far away from the violence in the first place. She thinks that this will one day translate to her meeting Rob in person.
Or we all could just stand back and watch the mobs form and silently mock and sarcastically judge like we always do. We’d all definitely get an A at doing that.
Either way…game on!