Conspiracy Theory: Degrassi is taking over the world

So I’m not going to lie. Lying gets you nowhere. I have watched Degrassi before. Not just like one episode or two, but like a million. I think it was in college or maybe even grad school that I got addicted to watch Degrassi on The N. If you don’t know what Degrassi is, it’s a TV show (originally from the 80s, but revamped for this generation) that’s from Canadaland about high school kids and all the problems they face. I don’t remember how I got into watching this, but it just sucked me in. It was a little high school soap with actually teenagers playing teenagers (Sorry Ben McKenzie, I’m never going to buy you as a 17 year old).

I haven’t watched it much in recent years, but every once and a while I’ll catch an episode on some channel. However, this doesn’t stop me from seeing the actors from the show because I am convinced that Degrassi is slowly (but surely) taking over the world. Whether it’s movies, music, of TV, I feel like I see them everywhere. It’s like Canada is plotting to take over the world. Yeah, we get you’re all neutral and shit, with happy people and pretty landscape, but secretly, you’re totally plotting to take over the world one Degrassi member at a time.

TV: Not only is Degrassi making its way to main stream networkd TV via Saturday morning programming, but they’ve shoved Shenae Grimes down our throat on 90210. I’ve actually started to like 90210 this year since Rebecca Sinclair took it over, but Shenae Grimes is the least likeable character. I even like her new boyfriend Jasper (aka Randal from Alex McNall’s thesis film in grad school, woot woot!). So dear Shenae, please go back to Canada and back to playing Darcy on Degrassi. Yeah, you were crazy on that show too, but at least you were more likeable.

Music: Oh Drake. Drake, Drake, Drake, Drake…also known as Aubrey Graham aka Jimmy from Degrassi. Never in a million years did I think you would become this huge hip-hop star after hooking up with pretty much every girl on Degrassi, winding up in a wheelchair after that school shooting, and then making the most out of your life. You were the best on the show, and no offense, I’m not a big fan of your music. I’m sure the wheelchair was annoying after a while, but maybe you can go back to Degrassi and start a little club with Kevin McHale from Glee.

Movies: Okay, I feel like if you make a movie in Canadaland, you are obligate to put an actor from Degrassi in your movie. It has to be some sort of clause in a contract when production companies head north for production. Hey New Moon, did you have anyone from Degrassi? If not, clearly you failed. When my company made Juno, we had Daniel Clark aka Degrassi’s resident bad-ass, Sean Cameron. I loved Sean, even when he got into trouble all the time. Plus, I love him in Juno, so I’m okay with this. Also, if any of you have seen Charlie Bartlett with the wonderful Anton Yelchin (love that kid!) they feature, not one, not two, not three, but FOUR Degrassi cast members? Was there a 4 for 1 special going on, Charlie Bartlett producers? Lauren Collins, Jake Epstein, Ishan Dave, AND Aubrey Graham all make an appearance in the film. Seriously guys? Seriously? Please tell me you all just wanted to work with Anton Yelchin and Robert Downey Jr. and you weren’t trying to take over the world.

So what’s the deal, Canada? Are you really trying to take over the world via Degrassi cast members or are these kids just crazy ass talented? I know you like to sit up there and be quiet most of the time, but I know you’re more of a super power than to resort to shoving actors/musicians down our throat. Come to think of it, maybe you are doing that…and not just with Degrassi members. Ryan Reynolds, Rachel McAdams, Shania Twain, Jim Carrey, Alanis Morrisette, Donald Sutherland, Michael J. Fox, Neil Young, Ryan Gosling, Mike Meyers, and Alex Trebek. They’re taking over, one Jeopardy question at a time.


One response to “Conspiracy Theory: Degrassi is taking over the world

  1. Craig was always my favorite. I'm a couple of seasons behind at this point but when I used to watch it, I'd hope that he would come back all the time. And then he was on crack and it was an amazing train wreck.The best thing about the show is that something horrible would happen at the end of every episode and then it would just end… no resolution like Full House or anything. I'm sort of convinced that the United States is the only place where the tv shows are wrapped up in a nice little bow every episode.

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