Category Archives: 2nd Hand Embarressment

Rules for turning one year younger

Grace Kelly was married by the time she was 25. She had her first kid by the time she was 26. Obviously, I’m a little behind. I turned 26 last week and not a moment too soon. You know how people refer to a quarterlife crisis? Well, they aren’t joking. It was like anything that could go wrong while I was 25, did go wrong. But the closer I got to 26, the more I realize that even through a year of bad times, I hadn’t really bothered to have fun and make memories. I was determine to make 26 a better year and be more optimistic about life. I had forgotten what it was like to have fun.

A couple weeks before I turned 26, and right around the time I decided that I was going to make this next year better, things started to turn around and I truly hope they only continue to get better.

In honor of turning 26, I had pretty much a week long celebration complete with concerts, New Moon, dinners, and crazy dancing at bars. It was a great start to 26 and provided me with some fabulous DO’s and DON’T’s of your birthday, in order to make it more memorable.

DO…Go see New Moon, the movie you’ve been waiting all year for. Oh wait, you haven’t been waiting all year for it? Oh, well FAIL! Clearly, you don’t know how to have fun.

DON’T…try and make out with anyone while ridiculously wasted. You won’t remember it till 24 hours later and then will leave you scared for life.

DO…spin the wheel at Happy Endings while triple fisting Heinekens, causing the DJ to call you out on the microphone for being an alcoholic.

DON’T…flirt with your waiter at IHOP after leaving Happy Endings. Your conversation will end up like mine and you will die of embarrassment.

Me: We have to go. We’re cabbing it back to Beverly Hills.
Ryan: You live in Beverly Hills?
Me: Yeah, where do you live?
Ryan: Downtown…in a warehouse.
Me: Like in 500 Days of Summer?
Ryan: Um…did they live in a warehouse in that?

DO…throw a theme party. Mine was a Girl Scout/Boy Scout party. It would have been Troop Beverly Hills themed, but then we realized there would be guys there and only so many people can dress up as Freddy Nefler.

DON’T…drop your brand new camera when you’re drunk. You’ll freak out and continue to tell everyone you dropped it because you are drunk.

…go see The Swell Season. They are hands down AMAZING! Please enjoy my commentary in the video below.

DON’T…leave home without a really massive birthday card.

…remember to bring an extra shirt when the below happens to you at your birthday dinner.

And finally…

DO…remember to have fun and create some memories! It’s your birthday, after all.


Preparing for battle – New Moon style

Hi, my name is Alexis and I am a Twilight fan. If only there was a support group to say hi back. They really do need to start meetings for people like me.

So, since it’s been revealed that I’m a (hardcore) Twilight fan, I must dedicate this post to the fact that I, along with two of my best friends Jen and Gabby, are preparing for battle. In a week and two days, we will be seeing New Moon for the first time. Breaking in to Summit down the street would have just taken too much planning and therefore, we are doing the next best thing. We are going to an advance screening at the Arclight next Thursday night.

I say battle because that’s honestly what it is. When you’re 26 years old and a fan of Twilight, you find yourself ridiculously outnumbered by 16 year olds that can barely drive their mom’s minivan to Hot Topic to buy a ‘Team Edward’ shirt. So in preparation to deal with the onslaught of screaming fans at the movies and the fact that I will probably knock someone down in line for the bathroom because that trash talked RPatz, here are the exercises we are putting ourselves through to be in top Twilight fan form coming next Thursday night.

1. Re-read Twilight AND New Moon
So Gabby has Jen and I beat on this one, as she has re-read both books and is almost done re-reading Eclipse. I have made it through Twilight and if I hunker down this weekend, I may be able to get through New Moon by next Thursday. Sorry, I actually do have a life outside of Twilight. Jen hasn’t re-read either. Fail, Jen.
Re-read Battle Grades – Gabby: A; Alexis: B-; Jen: F

2. Re-watch Twilight

Art just bought a new Plasma and blu-ray player so there will definitely be a viewing this weekend of Twilight where we will make sarcastic commentary and make fun of KStew when the HD reveals her pores.
Re-Watch Grades- All: A (cause we’re totally doing this)

3. Buy New Moon paraphernalia
Sure, we didn’t venture down to Hollywood and Highland on Friday night for the cast tour, but that doesn’t mean we are ashamed to own anything. Gabby is showing her Tay Tay love by getting a I HEART WEREWOLVES shirt. Jen and I at one point did purchase a Pocket Edward for our cubicle, but he was stolen by an intern who probably took him because I was the mean assistant who always told them to keep the chatter down. We still hold out hope he will resurface one day.
New Moon paraphernalia – Gabby: B+; Alexis & Jen: B

4. Watching endless press junket interviews and reading new articles

Gabby once again takes the cake on this, as I came home last week to discover that she has Tivo’d Access Hollywood to watch the interviews and cringe with second hand embarrassment while the host asked horrible questions. I watched some over the weekend and also salivated over the new Rob photos from Vanity Fair and Harper’s Bazaar. I like to pretend that KStew wasn’t in the Harper’s Bazaar photo shoot. Jen was also good as well, watching some of the interviews too and bugging me over and over again to send her the Harper’s Bazaar article to she could read it. Snoozefest.
Press Junket Interviews & Magazine Grade – Gabby: A-; Alexis: B; Jen: B-

5. Freaking out in the car every time we see a New Moon billboard or see a New Moon commercial
Jen definitely failed in this category. She doesn’t get excited by seeing a billboard trailer, nor does she watch the commercials when they are on TV. She says she watched them the first time she saw one, but not anymore. I personally get excited when I see a billboard, even if it’s just a little. Same with the TV ads. I may be fast forwarding through the commercials during Glee and I will stop, rewind and watch if a New Moon commercial goes by. I also thoroughly appreciate the WhatEdwardDrives Volvo commercials, if only for the fact that they are hand down hilarious. I can only imagine there are a million 16 year old girls now asking for a Volvo as their first car simply because it’s what Edward Cullen drives. Gabby also has a fan girl moment when we see a billboard or commercial as well.
Billboard & Commercial freakout Grade – Gabby: B; Alexis: B+; Jen: D

Overall Battle Grades

Gabby – A: Gabby will definitely survive the onslaught of 16 years olds and will beat them in a foot race if Taylor Lautner is spotter outside the Cineramadome come November 20th. She’s feisty and fearless and the most prepared out of all of us.

Alexis – B+: My dedication to any and all things Twilight makes me confident that I could out elbow any 16 year old if Rob is spotted, but if it’s KStew that’s on the street, she can fend for herself while I sit back and watch her stutter/blink rapidly/shake head like she’s having a seizure.

Jen – C: Jen’s cool and calm collected nature probably means that she’d get trampled by the hordes of teenage girls, but her nonchalantness makes her the most awesome and she would probably be standing far far away from the violence in the first place. She thinks that this will one day translate to her meeting Rob in person.

Or we all could just stand back and watch the mobs form and silently mock and sarcastically judge like we always do. We’d all definitely get an A at doing that.
Either way…game on!

photo source

Wa are not what you think we are, We are golden!

First off, if you don’t know who Mika is, you should. He’s fabulous Brit/Euro pop from across the pond. I’ve included some of his amazingness below so you can see what you’ve been missing.

Last night, my roommate and Gabby and I were fortunate enough to attend his show at The Palladium thanks to my friend Karin who couldn’t use the tickets anymore. After the rocking out to the songs from Glee while getting ready, we made our way over there and arrived about 10 minutes before he hit the stage. If you’ve never been to the Palladium before, let me explain the set up. The place seriously needs to be a roller rink. There is a huge sunken in wood floor that is surrounded by a four foot tall wall. Up a couple of steps from the main floor is horseshoe shaped standing area, and then above that are balconies. Arriving late, we clearly weren’t going to get anywhere near the stage (like the guy who took the video below, which is totes amazing) and as the show started, we quickly realized we weren’t able to see anything.

Kick ass video taken at the concert last night

Not only are we on the shorter side (Gabby’s 5’3 and I’m 5’6) but in true Mika fashion, people were wearing balloon hats. Excuse me, who thought that balloon hats would be a good option in a standing room only venue? After some quick thinking, I ran up to the standing area and scoped out a place for us to stand where we had a good view. In staking out our place in the standing section, we had a fucking balls to the wall good time. We rocked out to Mika, we danced, we probably looked a bit spastic, but we hands down did not care. You do not go to a Mika show and not dance the shit out of it. The music and his attitude are absolute infectious. However, in securing our space in the standing area, we realized we had walking into a situation that put in contact with the four types of people you desperately try to avoid at any concert. Please make a note of these below and run far, far away if you ever come across them.

Fighting Couple

Oddly enough, in the standing section there were these random chairs that people had sat down in. No idea why they were there, but whatever, those people we sitting and we could just look right over their hands. Right in front of us though was a couple of older guys (probably around 50s) who were a total buffed out motorcycle riding couple. LOVED them! One of the guys was totally into the concert and would occasionally standing up, straddle his chair (like Britney in the Stronger video) and start dancing. It was AMAZING! However, as the night went on, we realized that his boyfriend wasn’t have as much fun as him. He kept getting up, standing behind his chair (and blocking my view), walking outside, coming back, turn, smile, shift, repeat. It was annoying. To make matters worse, he kept yelling at his boyfriend telling him he wanted to leave. Poor guy who just wanted to dance straddling his chair! Who wants to hate on that? Eventually, the yelling boyfriend left, and his boyfriend went down to the dance floor and rocked it out hardcore.

Drunk/Drugged Out Dancing Girls

To our left, there was this group of four girls who were not doubt in high school and not doubt completely wasted. They looked like LiLo, that’s how bad they were. They were dancing all over the place, knocking into people, blocking peoples view, and getting down and dirty with their gay best friend, who was oddly dancing/gyrating on the floor. Total 2nd hand embarrassment.

Parents who have never heard of Mika and are only there because their kids can’t drive yet
To the right of us was three girls probably between the ages of 9-11, joined by their less than enthusiastic parents. I have to give props to the mom and dad for hanging out for an hour and a half, and also helping their kids take pictures, but it always makes you feel a little weird and self-conscious when you’re rocking out and jumping around when you have socially awkward parents standing next to you.

Stoned out college kids
I’m 99.9% positive they won their tickets off the radio. I doubt they even knew who Mika was before they came to the show. They just stood there and swayed like people do when they don’t know the songs. And they totally didn’t fool us by going down on the dance floor at one point and trying to rock it out. They still looked out of place and the gay guys next to them doing interpretive dance and Broadway dancing where way more amusing.

All and all, it was a success. We rocked hard, we danced hard, we decided we wanted to be best friend with his awesome back up singer (or at least have her wardrobe.) If you ever have the opportunity to see Mika, please do. Boy knows how to put on one hell of a show. You won’t be disappointed.